He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize