i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
