Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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