Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
