at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
