Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
