Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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