I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
