All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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