I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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