it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
