I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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