who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
