I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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