I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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