I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Randomize
