"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize