i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
