Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
