She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
