Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
