I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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