I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
