We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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