He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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