so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have fence marks all over my body
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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