i just wanna soil my oats bro
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize