if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
