You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
