arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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