It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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