its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
