Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
