The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
