"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
