I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
