Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
