You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
My underwear smells like fireworks.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
