Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
