I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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