420 ftw
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
