Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
