I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize