This girl is more easily done than said...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
