Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
