yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
