oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
