just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
