he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
