For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
