i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
