We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
