did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize