Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
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