in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
