would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
