Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
