I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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