A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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