you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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