Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
