I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
