im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I have post one night stand depression
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