Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
